


Doll

by LevisTears



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Animal Death, Artist Erwin smith, Blood, Body Worship, Coraline Reference, Dollification, Dolls, Don't get attached to the cat, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inanimate Object Porn, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Past Child Abuse, Softcore Porn, Teasing, Trans Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Vaginal Sex, referenced transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-08 19:07:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17986913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LevisTears/pseuds/LevisTears
Summary: Inpired by the doujin "Doll" by Zokugun PornoLevi moves into a new apartment and gets to know Erwin who is a doll maker next door. Before he knows it Levi experiences weird things happening every night and it drives him mad. All he wants to know is what is causing this.





	1. Chapter 1

In this modern society that we all live in certain traits and qualities stand out amongst others and people are targeted for the way they look and behave. Levi Ackerman was one of these people who got the short end of the stick and was teased merciless through his life once he realise who he was even through his early adulthood where he is right now. Levi wished this word was different, wished someone except his own mother and uncle said he was good looking, he just wants to be pretty.

Levi had moved into a new apartment recently and had failed to go outside much, he'd only been out once or twice within the past month he had lived there. Though today was one of them days where he had to go out due to being low on food in his place.

That experience that been the usual mess as per normal as he was given strange looks off children whispering to their mothers followed by sly looks of the mothers telling them out loud not to look at him before pulling them off. For god sake Levi just wanted some milk, eggs and other shit, not to bloody rape them!The young man at the till called him miss what he understands can happen by accident but after stupid mothers influencing their kids he just ignored it. Levi just hummed when the young man looked like he had heartfailure when Levi thanks him for his service and hears his non female voice. Levi walks off sighing not taking a chance to sick around before some idiot claims he's harassed them by touching them some place he shouldn't.

He leaves the store and sighs as he is hit with the cold misty air that surrounds the area. Levi normally likes the autumn and winter months but hates the cold air that comes with it as it doesn't hold back on his lungs continuously agitating them the moment he steps outside if it's too cold. Luckily he has an inhaler to aid him if it gets too much. He reaches into his pocket for the familiar feeling of his sort of life line at these times, he does it to reassure himself that everything will be ok, he will be ok, it will be ok. Though after a few seconds of looking, this reassurance doesn't come and Levi is left full with the feeling of dread pumping through his blood.

Levi does though realise he's in fact close to his home once again and speeds up his walking just a tad feeling the air prick at his flesh. He sees the building and doesn't waste time hurrying towards it, he ignores any comments he receives on the final stretch. He makes it a few meters away from the stone steps and a cloud of smoke from a nearby smoker hits him, he feels himself wheeze for half a second before it gets to him at last and he hits the floor without any preperstion on his end.

That's when he hears a single set of footsteps within his coughing and foggy mind. These footsteps stop and this person blends seamlessly into the dreary fog that had came onto this place within the last few minutes. Levi believes he's seeing things for a moment, it's only when the person speaks he deducts he hasn't gone mad yet.

"Are you alright?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you alright?" They ask and Levi who was at a loss for words at that moment manages to hear a deep voice come from them."you're not dying are you?" What a stupid question to ask someone at a time like this.

'must be a man' he thinks not acting out just incase it's a lady or a trans lady at that. Levi manages to look up at him and the man widens his eyes for an instant before bending over to help Levi without a word said. He helps Levi inside with his arm around his waist and leads him upstairs. "We'll be there in a minute." Levi guessed this guy knows where he lives eventhough he's never seen him before in his life from being new to the area. Levi coughs a little. "Please don't be sick on me hun, we're nearly there" 

They finally reach a door and Levi looks up to see it isn't his but the one next door. Levi is about to walk the few steps to his door when the blonde unlocks the door guiding Levi inside the apartment next to his. The door creaks open and they are inside "we're here" the blonde adds and Levi is automatically hit with a sickly thick smell of paint and oil. 

"What's with that smell?" Levi croaks out and the blonde turns the light switch on and the room becomes clear to Levi. He widens his eyes at this place. There's a wooden table at the end of the room with various brushes on, the room is dimly lit all round and is lined shelf to shelf with what looks like big China doll heads. Levi suddenly feels a lot better in himself with the shock. He removes the stranger's arm from himself to stand up straight. "What the hell is this place?"

The blonde turns to him and explains "it's my home and also my studio for my work, I make dolls"

"I feel better now" Levi adds still staring at certain parts of his studio "sorry for all the trouble there"

"It's alright" he adds "stay, let me make you some tea, I don't want you hitting the floor again like that and plus it'll warm you up, your really cold." Levi nods and accepts the offer.

So they sit and talk with tea in hand, they find out each others name and that they are neighbours. The stranger is called Erwin and this is his home. Erwin pours him another cup without Levi asking for it and Levi sighs. "Oh sorry" he adds looking at Levi concerned "I should of asked you first"

"No no" Levi adds looking down at the hot swirling liquid in the cup "it's not that, I'm just sorry for startling you earlier, I've just moved in and it's hard to sleep a little and I've failed to look after myself , plus it's my fault for leaving without checking I had my inhaler."

Erwin gives him a confused look and Levi fills in the blank boxes in his mind. "I've kind of stopped going outside unless I need to, I've skipped a few meals here and there to do that." Levi explains "I don't really like going out in public. I didn't think I would actually faint though I'm grateful you came along to help me Erwin. Who knows what someone else would of done"

"They would of helped you" Erwin adds sipping his tea "and it's no bother"

"In your imaginary world they would of" Levi half heartedly snorts in a laugh with the idea of it "a disgusting and ugly person like me would be kicked into the pavement without a thought." Levi can see Erwin is about to question what he said by the look on his face and makes sure to dismiss the subject quickly. "Don't ask about it" Levi continues to look at his shelves and parts laying around when he realises something he has to ask about but first wanted to lead into it with something less serious. "So what is the purpose of these dolls?" He asks him "do people buys these for decorations or are these actually really fancy sex dolls?"

He hears Erwin laugh into his cup "well requests do vary" he adds

"So you do make sex dolls" Levi laughs full of life "there isn't any fully developed dolls around I see, where are you hiding your handmade sex doll Erwin" Levi smirks and Erwin once again laughs at him.

"So you're just assuming I have one?" He adds and Levi nods "I wouldn't just tell you where it is if I had one, I'll know if it goes missing from my room"

Levi laughs at him his cheeks rosy from laughing "I'm not that lonely that I'd steal your sex doll Erwin, jeez who's assuming things now? And it's in your room I see"

"Levi I don't have a sex doll" he adds placing his tea down in case he spills it. Levi wants to ask what's been tugging at his active mind. "So those dolls of yours, each one wouldn't be that valuable to a doll collector or something I'm guessing." Erwin raises a confused brow "I mean that err....they all have the same face it seems. I don't think that's good for business but I'm no professional."

"Ah sorry I know, you're very observant" he adds "though everything you see around you isn't for sale, my commissions are safely stored in boxes in my cupboard" he points to a small cupboard and Levi is confused.

"Eh?" Levi questions "how do you fit them in there? It would be too small to fit more than one in there."

"I normally make the small China dolls you'd normally see about" he explains "what you see around you is....a special project of mine. That's why everyone looks the same, I'm trying to recreate a particular person I've been seeing in my dreams since I was young, I've constantly had the same dream and I want to make that person I've saw, though it can't be done, it has to be perfect and I only see certain things within the same dream."

Levi was interested in what Erwin had to say but listening to all this made a chill go down his spine. He clearly understood that anyone has the right to do anything they want with their life but though this seems well in Erwin's eyes it still seems a bit...creepy. It scared Levi a little. "I think I should go now" Levi adds putting his empty cup down on the coffee table and begins to stand up. Erwin widens his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I've scared you" he adds panicked "I didn't mean it"

"No I understand" Levi adds "I just feel like I can relate to you, wanting someone for them to keep escaping your grasp for a long time. If you keep chasing you'll catch them eventually and hopefully you can stop all this chasing finally if you don't have to repeat your chase. Just remember Erwin that the cycle must continue."

Erwin blinks at him a few times like something is clicking inside him. "Please come back and visit again Levi, I think we could both do with the company" he requests and Levi just smiles before nodding.

"See you later Doll maker" he adds "I need to get back to my cat, she'll be wondering where I am" Levi feels obliged to see more of this wonderful space Erwin has created. Though it is a bit creepy it makes him ever more drawn to the place and that's the truth, he found himself visiting there almost everyday.

One day Erwin presents something to Levi in a box. Levi is puzzled by the action and opens it in front of him. He gives him cloth doll that looks a little like him. Levi looks down at the gift, his eyes overflowing with dread. "Umm......" he adds quietly.

"What's wrong Levi?" Erwin asks him looking sad "do you not like it?"

"I....do...it's just it's reminding me of something from when I was young." Levi adds looking at the doll "have you ever seen the move Coraline?"

"Yeah I have" he adds "what about it?"

"Well I watched this movie when I was nine when it came out and it gave me nightmares until the age of 13." Levi explained "the doll looking like me and you being good at making things is giving me that type of vibe alongside your home."

"Oh I see" Erwin adds "are you sure you still want it? I don't want to give you some sort of PTSD Coraline flashbacks"

"Ah I'll be fine Erwin" Levi explained with a cheerful sigh "I don't think it'll do anything, though I need to ask something first"

"What is it?" Erwin asks

"You're not after my eyes are you Other Mother?" Levi jokes looking down at the stuffed doll "I don't want you replacing them with buttons now." Erwin gives a nervous laugh in response and Levi gives out one too in the same style. Erwin just shakes his head.

Levi once returning home showed the  object to his cat. She curiously sniffed it before walking away to do something else. Levi puts the doll on his side drawers next to his bed and sets off to sleep once changing. Levi enters a dream and finds himself in Erwin's home. He feels like his body is limp against the sofa he is laying diwn on. The room is brightly lit for once and he same sickening smell is still present.

Levi hears footsteps come towards him and sees Erwin in front of him. He smiles down at Levi. "I'm glad to see you awake now my love" he gently smiles "He's gone now so we can work on you"

Levi seems puzzled by his words and thinks for a minute until it clicked. He wasn't talking to him but that doll he was working on. Levi was dreaming that he was in the place of the doll. Levi tests this by trying to move anything of his but fails to do so, he was stuck where he was. Erwin reaches down with both hands and easily picks him up holding him in eye view. Levi finds this whole thing oddly creepy, even more creepy and then nerve wrecking when he realises why he's being held like that and he couldn't move anything or turn his head. Levi or more accurately the doll was only at its most simplest form right now, a head.

If Levi could react right now a panicked scream would come out of him. He was taken out his thoughts when Erwin once again says something to him. "Don't worry" he smiles "you'll be put together soon enough. Tonight I'm going to be painting your face, then from there I can add your eyes and other things that belong there." Levi deducted that as of now he was a  goddamn blank hollow head with no hair, eyes or teeth (if you even put teeth on a doll.)

He sets the head down on his work bench and opens his drawers taking out various brushes and paint, he even took out an airbrush. In Levi's eyes the addition of an airbrush means he wasn't taking the construction of this doll lightly at all.

So Levi sits there even though he clearly doesn't have a choice and watches Erwin slowly and carefully paint his face. He wears a gentle look about about him and Levi can't exactly find the words to describe further it's so odd. After time he takes out the airbrush and what looks like red pigment with some other lighter shades of that colour and mixes them together. He begins on his lips carefully filling them in and later adding fine details. He once again looks down at him and traces his thumb over his lips. "Perfect" he states "you look lovely, now let's put you away safely before anything happens"

Levi wakens up then and stares up at the ceiling for a moment, thinking to himself. "What the fuck was that?" He states out loud "erhhh that was horrible, being just a fucking head..oh my god ewww."

Levi finds himself comming back to his home to borrow books from his vast collection. Levi finds out that Erwin has a lot of interesting things in his home that he really likes.

"That book I borrowed was really good Erwin" Levi adds looking at Erwin's bookcase for his next read "the hidden meanings were great too."

"You really like my home don't you?" Erwin smiles cleaning his work bench.

"Yeah, you have so many interesting things and me coming here gives us both someone to talk to" Levi explained "you don't mind me disturbing as you work? You won't have enough energy to do your main project"

"No its fine Levi" he explains putting the cloth he was using away "I'm doing my main project at night and commissions in the day."

"Oh aren't you going to be tired if you're not hardly sleeping?" Levi questions facing him concerned.

"They're worth it" he states and Levi continues to feel weird inside about all this. Within these feelings he sees a door beside him and the bookcase, his hand goes for it without thinking, thinking there would be more interesting things in their. "Levi!" He says loudly in a somewhat panic "don't go in there please, it's only my room, there's no books in there for you to look at"

"Ah...sorry Erwin" Levi says nervously and quiet.

"It's fine so don't worry about it" he adds "I'm done for today so I'll go make some tea for us"

So they sit and drink tea. Levi starts the conversation. "I had a dream about you last night" he states.

"Huh? What kind of dream was it?" Erwin asks and Levi decides to spare him the details.

"I don't want to do into detail but you were working on that doll" he adds "you looked happy"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He chuckles "it makes me happy to do it" Levi listens to Erwin chat about things he has in his home while Levi nods. Levi glances over to the side and nearly chokes on his tea at what he thinks he saw. "Are you alright?!"

"Fine fine" Levi lies trying not to panic and Erwin goes back to talking. He glaces back over to not see the same thing. He was sure one of them heads across the room from him just blinked. 'Levi you're just imagining things...it didn't blink....it didn't blink, it's not alive....it's not what you think.' He thinks trying to calm down when Erwin says something.

"You know Levi ever since we met I feel like I can do it" he smiles staring at Levi "I can make my doll"


	3. Chapter 3

Levi nods at his statement and takes note of what it means. He feels as if Erwin has the confidence to do something he lives without being judged by those around him. The fact that this may be true stuffed Levi up with good feelings, so much in fact that he painted a cheerful smile on his face. Erwin sees the expression Levi is giving him and questions it with the same look. "Are you OK there Levi?" He asks watching Levi sit there body still as his face showed everything "you're looking really happy"

"Ah I'm just glad that you feel comfortable to do what you love around me" Levi adds "I feel honoured that you're sharing this part of your life with me"

"Well I do feel like I can be comfortable around you" Erwin adds "this is the most amount of progress I've dove in a while."

Levi looks over to a weird box in the corner. "Is it in there?" Levi asks curiously "the doll"

"No I wouldn't put them in such a tight and clunky box" he explains "they're somewhere safe from harm"

"So what's up with the odd box?" He questions "what's in there"

"The mould" Erwin adds "the mould of the rest of their body, I just need to make it then I can attach the head on"

"So what about all these spare heads you have laying around?" Levi asks him looking at them "are you going to keep them just in case or dispose of them"

"No I'll dispose of them but I won't through them away traditionally, I don't want others being able to see such a lively face though it's blank. I might just use them for stress relief if I make mistakes along the line I have to fix." Levi shines him a confused look. "Well I'll just smash a few in with whatever weapon type object I have laying around."

"Yeah yeah" Levi says sheepishly thinking back to the dream he had and found a small dull headache come across him. He was thankful no mistakes were made in the dream. "So Erwin why do you love dolls so much? It's a unusual hobby I haven't seen before, not saying it's bad or anything."

"Well when I was young my parents died so my older sister and I went to live with my grandma who was such a kind lady. I was surrounded by her pretty China display dolls growing up and I sort of fell in love with their beauty. When my sister was out at school I used to play with her barbies in secret since you know you can't play with display dolls in the slightest."

"Ah that's cool" Levi smiles "your grandmother sounded great and I do have to admit my grandma also liked to collect them in her home, I do sort of like them but I didn't like to face them when I sleep. Also I didn't expect you to be type to play with barbies, not like I'm saying that's wrong."

"Yeah I liked dressing them up and acting out drama, since I didn't really have friends to talk to" he laughed nervously "I know it sounds stupid"

"It's not stupid" Levi adds sternly "if it made you happy then so what? I used to never play with mine apparently, just used to take their clothes off and on. That's the weird thing here." Levi sees that Erwin laughs but it's quiet and slightly pained in a way. He decides to not press further. "Well not weird I guess, just one of them quirky things children do."

"Yeah I guess it is" Erwin adds "thanks for understanding Levi"

"It's no problem Erwin" Levi responds  and looks up for a second to the China dolls near him. Levi nearly shits himself when a head turns a little to face him. "Erwin? That doll just moved it's head"

Erwin looks at where Levi is looking. "That doll had always faced that way" he explains "I think you need some sleep silly" Levi is sure the one in the corner had turned it's head, certain it had.

Levi goes home that night mumbling to himself that he's fucking lost it and had made himself look stupid in front of Erwin. He lays down on his bed taking that doll Erwin gave him in his arms holding it up so he can see it. "You're just imagining things again Levi" he sighs "it didn't blink and this time it didn't move it's head." The sound of paws against the wood brought him out his thoughts. "Oh hey Bonnie" the cat jumps up and snuggles into him. Levi knows that cats can sense evil or some shit like that and decides to ask her a question. "Bonnie is next door haunted?"

The cat just give him a look.

"Why the hell am I asking a cat for?" Levi adds "it's not like you're going to reply to me, is it?"

Levi sets off to bed hoping for a nice dream unlike the one he had last night. Levi finds himself in what looks like an old living room filled with China dolls. He looks at the vast collection and comes across one in a locked cabinet compared to the rest which are out in the open. He's just about to question the meaning of the dream he was having when he hears a smash and a football comes flying through the window nearly knocking Levi out but luckily it just passes straight though him. Levi pats down his torso in shock "Oh my fucking god!?" He gasps and he doesn't notice the grand smash next to him. The cabinet had been knocked over and the doll inside smashed into pieces. Levi widens his eyes at the mess. "Oh shit someone is in trouble" he says to himself and watches as an old lady rushes into the scene. Her face is raging and the next thing he sees is a young boy running inside in a panic. "Is that Erwin?" He asks himself.

"Grandma I'm sorry!" He pleads looking upset "I really am! It was an accident I swear!" Levi watches as this woman marches up to him and a hand is straight across his face. Levi goes pale.

"You little shit can't you do anything right!?" She screeched at him grabbing a hold of his top and dragging him away "I knew I should of just took in your sister and left you somewhere. You're a mistake just like your parents said!"

Levi puts his hands over his ears and closes his eyes. "I WANT OUT! I WANT OUT! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" He shouts in a panic. Levi follows them still having his hands over his ears but he can hear the wails off the young blonde. He is thrown into this room and Levi follows right behind him.

"You'll stay in here for now on!" She states before slamming the door and locking it. Levi turns his head to see Erwin in the corner covered in darkness crying. Levi then notices the room they are both in is covered in the dolls. There were probably 100 in there.

Levi blinks and the scene has changed. From outside the room he can hear laughs and the sound of people eating. He looks down to see Erwin cuddled into the dolls with his eyes open. "Who's that person I keep seeing?" He questions to the doll in his hands "he's really handsome, you know. Have you seem him?..... No?...I wish you all could"

The scene changes and they are in the room still but the door is open. A slightly older Erwin is stood talking to someone, a young girl who looked older than him. "Erwin have you seen my dolly?" She asks and he shakes his head no though Levi can see it's behind his back. The girl leaves and shuts the door. Erwin turns around and looks at the doll in his hands before walking further into the room. He kneels beside the pile of dolls he's made himself and just looks at it. The figure is a young girl who looks around 14 and wears a white dress that stops at mid calf. Levi stays silent waiting for what's about to happen. Erwin peers at the doll with wide eyes. A hand comes down and lifts the dress off the doll leaving it bare, Levi knows something bad might just happen as that look was definitely not the same as his when he used to do this.

Erwin's fingertips move over the breasts of the doll gently before he lifts the feet to his mouth and his tongue licks them. Levi has never felt more out of place in his entire life and that's coming from a trans man who doesn't fit into society. Erwin's hand goes between his legs to palm himself through his pants and Levi tries to cover his eyes though part of him stops himself, this whole thing was really wrong but interesting at the same time. Erwin sighs into a moan and Levi keeps watching him. "I want you, strange man" he says "I want to be inside you.....please let me touch you tonight when I sleep...please"

Levi blinks and the scene has changed. Erwin sits down surrounded by the dolls now on the floor facing him. He is rubbing two of those China dolls together so they are having sex "You like that Ann?" He questions smiling and Levi hears a sudden crack. Erwin lifts the one on top away from 'Ann' "oh Simon look what you've done" he adds looking down at the broken mess between the dolls legs "you were being too rough, you've broken her now, hopefully some glue should fix her."

Levi blinks one last night and sees Erwin laying down. "Friends help me make him when I'm older, I will make us a new friend we all can play with but I'll be the only one to touch him, if I see any of you trying to touch him in that way you'll be thrown against the wall within a second."

Levi wakes up and stares at the ceiling. "Oh please fucking tell me Erwin wasn't lying about childhood and I haven't just seen what actually happened." He says with wide eyes as he's clinging onto the sheets in a panic. "So where are we up to now? I've been a head, seen Erwin getting abused, Erwin having sex with his sister's doll and making dolls have sex....that's only been two dreams worth...for god sake..."

Levi is once again next door at Erwin's home doing their normal routine of talking and drinking tea. Though Erwin is talking to him and he is paying attention he just can't seem to fully concentrate after last night's dream. He questioned why he would have a dream like that for, why he's been having these weird dreams all of a sudden. Levi hadn't a clue why. That doesn't exactly matter per say what actually matters is that Erwin have lied to him and this, all of this that Erwin has created may have been the result of childhood trauma if that dream was true. Levi poses him a question to see if can find out if that dream meant nothing or not. "So Erwin you know your dolls" Levi starts and Erwin hums "have any of them got a name?"

"Not all of them, I can't think of good names" he explains "I've only named 2 out of my whole collection I've created over the years."

"Ah really what are they called?" Levi questions and when he answers Levi nearly spits out his tea.

"Ann and Simon" he smiles and points up to one of the shelves "right there" they were the same, exactly the god damp same as in the dream. Levi is about to dismiss his thoughts playing it off as a major coincidence that they're called that and probably just appeared in the dream as things you see in real life can pop into your dreams even if you've seen them for a second, he's about to do that when some wind blew through the open window and Erwin went to go sort it out immediately so nothing is blow over. Levi glances at Ann and becomes pale. Her dress blew up revealing cracks between her legs. He stares at the sight unable to register what he was going to do next. In this situation Levi was almost terrified. A tap on his shoulder has a small scream come out of him and his teacup slipping out of his hands.

He quickly bends over limbs almost set in place with nerves and picks the ruined cup up without any word said. The noise of the cup running together sending a bad feeling through his body. He quickly puts it in the bin and pulls a £5 note out of his pocket knowing it might not even be close to the actual amount it was worth. Erwin sits there looking at Levi worried. "I-I need to go!" Levi chokes on the air and retreats back home within an instant.

Once back next door Levi hears a voice through the walls. "Are you OK?" Erwin calls out and Levi shakily huffs placing his head in his hands before dragging them down his face. "You don't seem so good, take a nap will you, you look like you need it."

"Will do" Levi adds and just lays down for some sleep with the blankets over his face for some extra warmth and comfort.

Soon enough he's swept away into dreamland and finds himself on a wooden chair unable to move just like before. He doesn't know where abouts in Erwin's home he is. He waits for something to happen and hears foot steps aproach him, soon enough Erwin enters the room with a smile on his face. "Ah hello gorgeous" he smiles "nice to see you awake, you've woke up just in time for your next parts I've prepared for you." Erwin disappears for a moment and comes back with 4 large like objects in his arms. Levi struggles to see what they are in this low light. He approaches and it's clear to Levi what they are. "I've got your limbs" Levi without noticing gains control of his whole head and neck. He is panicking as he watches Erwin take the left leg and moves it towards him. "Oh don't panic my love" Erwin says gently "it'll be fine I promise, it's not going to hurt"

That wasn't what was bothering Levi, Levi was more panicked by the visuals of it all. Levi having to watch himself being built from scratch. Levi tries to say something, anything he could so he could confirm something, he wasn't sure what he was trying to confirm but maybe if Erwin could hear him it would make things better in a way. Levi soon finds out that no sound comes out his mouth. This experience didn't hurt like Erwin said, it was just creepy for Levi to witness. "I can't wait until you're finished" Erwin adds attaching the leg "then we can play together with my friends" Levi realises what that probably means after what happened between Ann and Simon. Levi let's out a panicked scream in realisation.

The bed covers are kicked off as Levi flails in a panic sending the cat off the bed. He lays there eye wide open as he struggles to breath almost gasping for air but not quite. He's there for 10 minutes still breathing the same when his cat meows at him. Levi's eyes creak to the side to look at her. He doesn't say anything at all reaching his hand out to the animal for some comfort as his eyes heavy eyes lay on the doll to his side.


	4. Chapter 4

When Levi does finally come back round from his panic he reaches down and brings his cat into his arms. He holds her tight but not tight enough to hurt her in any way. He just gently breaths against her fur feeling it soothe and warm his face. Levi feels some small licks on his face and drags open his eyes to see her licking his face, it felt hard against smooth porcelain like skin. "Thanks" he breaths out "I'm OK, I'm OK sweetie just a little shook"

Levi decides that he needs some time to himself right now and just lays back to snuggle with his cat. She keeps on licking his hand and purring at him. All is quiet and well until she meows. "What is it?" Levi asks and she jumps down to walk into the kitchen next to her bowl. She meows again and Levi just looks at her from the bed. "So that's what you want" he adds "please don't tell me you were giving you love and attention after a bad dream just to get food not because you love me" She meows again and Levi sighs getting out of bed to sort her out. "That's so rude Bonnie"

A few days later Levi goes back to Erwin without any word said. Levi believes that Erwin will think that he was embarrassed over what happened with the cup a few days ago. Levi is nervous to go over there, every time he's there he ends up spooked in some way possible. Levi knocks on the door and waits for him to answer. He opens the door with a smile. "Nice to see you" he smiles and welcomes Levi inside. Levi sits down after quickly scouting his surroundings.

Erwin sits down with two cups and Levi feels obliged to ask about the cup. "I'm sorry about the cup" he adds quietly "was that enough money to replace it Erwin?"

"Not quite but it's fine Levi" he adds "I'm just happy that you're back to see me again, I thought that I done something wrong for a minute there."

"No no I was just....acting weird that's all" Levi sighed "as you can probably see I've not been my best lately"

"Do you need to talk about it Levi?" Erwin asks "you can tell me"

"No its fine" he adds briefly closing his eyes "I don't think you would understand what's going on up here in my mind, I don't want to freak you out with what's going on."

"Oh" Erwin says "can't you not tell me? I doubt it's that bad"

"Well since I've met you I've been having odd dreams that I won't go into but your home has been scaring me, it's getting worse you know, what they're up to."

"Up to?" Erwin questions "who's up to what?"

Levi stays dead silent for a moment watching the way Erwin is awaiting his answer. 'He's going to think I'm crazy' Levi thought swallowing listening to what's around him. "Your dolls" he whispers to him and Erwin widens his eyes looking panicked. "They're doing things you know, they keep on doing it when you're not looking."

"What?" Erwin laughs "my dolls? Nice joke there Levi but it's not very believable."

Levi laughs but his eyes twitches a little. "Haha can't you not hear them?"  Levi adds holding his breath "please tell me you can hear them Erwin, tell me I've not gone mad."

Erwin stays silent for a moment. "Levi I think you need an ambulance" he adds looking at him worried "what do you mean you can hear them?"

"They don't normally speak Erwin they've just started this when I just came in a few minutes ago." Levi explained "they won't shut up now"

"What are they saying?" Erwin asks hesitantly.

"Why are you asking?" Levi adds "they're loud enough to hear"

"I'm sorry but I can't hear them Levi" Erwin insists "tell me what they are saying, I want to know" Levi can see the curious look on Erwin's eyes knowing that his precious possessions could be actually talking, could be a someone for him to talk to as well, maybe making what might of happened as a child between these things more logical to him. "Tell me."

Levi listens in to what they are saying and acts as calm as he can. He repeats what he can, which is nothing. "Don't tell him anything" Levi speaks copying what one said and he can see Erwin sit there like he's just seen a ghost himself. Though Levi can't say anything he can hear it all as clear as can be

"It's our new friend" "join us will you?" "We'll have so some fun" "dolly is telling us about you" "Erwin will make you beautiful" "he'll take good care of you" "Please be our friend Levi" They say, the voices filling his head to the brim with dread.

"I'm going to have to go Erwin" Levi adds standing up his bones creaking in the progress due to how still he was positioning himself. "They are too loud"

Once the door is closed Erwin sits quietly looking at his collection around him. "Huh?" He questions himself.

Levi goes home and immediately puts himself to bed. Levi finds himself in a dream once again and his whole body stiffens at the realisation. Everything is dark around him and then he hears Erwin's voice. "I'm sorry I had to do this Levi" he whispers "now which colour do you like? Black or brown? Though I don't think it matters since you're not able to see yourself anymore."

Levi stays silent until he says something he knows Erwin can't hear from the last time he tried to talk in a dream. "What?" He asks.

"We're doing some realistic role play Levi" he explains and Levi can hear him giggle. Levi realises he can hear him.

"Role play of what exactly?" He asks and hears him laugh again making him nervous.

"Coraline" he says "now tell me what buttons you want?"

Levi takes in a sharp breath when he hears that name and quickly thinks what's going on, then he realised. He can't see anything and he's going on about buttons for him.

He took his eyes.

Levi doesn't have a second to progress this before the view is flipped and he sees himself, his eyes just deep black holes. He let's out a deafening scream and wakes up from the dream shaking. He pats his eyes checking that they're still there and sighs in relief that they are. "Stupid fucking movie!" He says out loud and look to his left to where the cloth doll normally sits. He looks there to see its gone. The air immediately traps in his chest as he just stares at the empty spot. He hears a noise and Levi is sure a whimper just left his mouth. He hears it again and closes his eyes laying back on his back. He prays. He prays that he's over thinking this whole thing and it's just fell on the floor. He prays that thing isn't going to kill him, that the doll isn't teamed up with Erwin's collection and it's not going to attack him. He hears the noise become louder, like footsteps and he makes a quick plan. The lamp. If that thing tried to kill him he would hit it with the lamp as that's all he can do.

A sudden weight on the bed has Levi grabbing the lamp with his eyes closed in a panic without looking at this thing in the dark. He screams pouncing onto the floor and begins to bash the doll until he's sure it's destroyed hearing rips and the odd crunch. He let's out a breath and opens his eyes before he turns the lamp on with the switch that's on the wire beside him expecting to see the doll. Though that isn't what he's just beaten to death in a panic, not the doll but something else. He's just beaten his cat to death.

He looks down at the mess in front of him and puts his hand over his mouth. He could scream right now, he has to stop himself as it would cause a commotion. He has to sort this out fast and grabs an old towel from the kitchen and wipes up everything he can before wrapping the animal inside. Levi knew he couldn't just put it in the bin and it would eventually stick and that would end up in the apartment bins when he took the bin bag out. He runs downstairs with the trowel he uses for the plants in his home and goes outside in order to burry her. Levi looks left and right and sees no grass anywhere so he can't do that. He can't just throw it into the apartment bins as the place has cameras. He has no hope.

Levi walks back up stairs and places her on the kitchen counter. He doesn't know what to do and he feels so guilty he could just cry on the spot. He looks to the side to see the book his parents got him as a moving present, a cookery book. He stares at it and an idea comes to mind. It was a sick idea but it was his only hope left, Levi was going to make "chicken".

The following afternoon Levi wraps the meal in tin foil and brings it over to Erwin with a smile on his face. When Erwin opens the door he immediately says something to Levi. "What's up with you?" He asks "you look absolutely terrible, oh what's that you have there?"

"I couldn't sleep last night and decided to try something out of the cook book my parents got me" he explains gripping the dish tightly "I made chicken, I don't want to eat it though so here"

"If you don't want to eat it why did you make it?" He asks confused.

"Just because" Levi explains "please have it" Erwin nods and Levi walks inside as per usual setting it down in the kitchen "do you want it now or what?"

"I'll have it later" he explains "I've just had lunch"

Levi sits beside Erwin and Erwin just looks at him. "Levi are you sure you're ok?" He questions "you look wrecked and what you said yesterday worried me"

"I'm alright Erwin" Levi sighs and Erwin eyes him for a moment. He looks at his eyes.

"Your eyes look swollen from the lack of sleep" he adds "I'll go get you something for them" Levi doesn't even register him saying that because he's that sick of everything at the moment: the dreams, the dolls, the fact he killed his cat by accident, him having to feed that cat to his neighbour to cover things up and that when he went to get tinfoil in the middle of the night to cook the meat some guy spat in his face and called him some mean words. Levi wants to cry his eyes out.

The sudden sight of Erwin's hand near his eyes with an ice pack has him reacting without thinking and the pack his slapped out of his hands. They watch as it slides across the floor and Erwin just slowly looks at Levi. "What the hell is up with you?" He asks and Levi sits there in a panic. Levi doesn't say anything but Erwin can tell something is up by the way Levi's eyes are looking at him. "Why are your eyes looking like that for?"

"You can't see it that's why" He strains out trying not to burst into tears like he's wanted to do since this all started. Erwin can't see that every single one of them dolls have turned around and are now looking at Levi, talking to him.

"What have you done with dolly Levi?" "Where is he?" "Have you hurt him?"

That makes Levi remember something. 'I forgot about the doll' he thinks his hands shaking 'where the fuck did the doll go!?'

"Levi you're shaking!" Erwin explains panicked "you need help!"

"Erwin the doll is gone! It's moved from my home!" He adds raising his voice "it just disappeared out of nowhere! I need to find it before it hurts me!"

"Hurts you?" Erwin asks "what do you mean hurt you? It's a doll Levi is not going to hurt you? It was made by me not some demon!"

"In need to find it Erwin!" He shouts "it's out to hurt me, your whole damp collection is out to get me! They made me kill me cat!"

"What did you just say!?" He gasps with wide eyes.

"Nothing! Nothing! I didn't say anything Erwin!!" He shouts "don't listen to me"

"I've got it OK" he explains "Bonnie brought it over last night and forced it on me, when I said about taking it back to you she just started hissing at me, it's in my work drawers"

"Get rid of it! Get rid of it Erwin! It's going to kill me!" He shakes "don't tell anyone about Bonnie" Erwin takes hold of his hands and looks into his eyes.

"I'm not going to tell anyone alright so calm down ok" he breaths making sure they were both looking at each other "everything is OK Levi, there is nothing to worry about, nothing here is going to hurt you ok? Yeah? Now let's get rid of that 'chicken' alright and we're going to go for a ride in my car to find someone to help you. You can trust me Levi. Does that sound good?"

"I don't want to see someone" Levi adds "can I just see how I get on?"

"Fine then" He smiles "just go get yourself some sleep knowing nothing will hurt you alright, you need it Levi, you really do before something bad happens to you. Go read one of the books you've borrowed off me and relax." So Levi does just that and lays in bed that night with a book that he borrowed off Erwin. He ends up falling asleep with it in his hands and at last he has the peaceful sleep he's been aching for.

The next day after Levi finished the book and he went next door where he knocked on his door. "Erwin are you there?" He asks knocking and gets nothing in return "Erwin? Has he gone out for a bit? I hope he isn't the one that's fainted this time with all that oil and working through the night on his project." Levi tries to turn the knob and finds it unlocked, he's puzzled by this since its normally locked even when he's inside. Levi intrudes his home looking around the living room. He's not there. "Oi Erwin are you home?" He calls out to get no answer. He looks at the dolls "afternoon guys"

Levi's eyes fall on the bedroom door and he questions if he might be in bed. "One look isn't going to harm" he adds and slowly opens the door. He opens the door to a pitch black room when he looks closer from where he stood and he sees a figure facing away from him on a chair. The room was deadly silent. "Erwin? Hey what's wrong? Why are you sitting like that in the dark? Erwin?" There was nothing said back "are you asleep?"

Levi walks towards the chair and peaks around it ready to see what was wrong. He just steps around the chair and looks down at him awaiting the face of a sleeping Erwin. "Come on wake up Erw-" Levi stops mid sentence and his eyes widen as he starts to shake, any words he could say stuck in his mouth. He felt tears prick his eyes as his eyes wouldn't let themselves move from what he had just discovered. That wasn't Erwin but his special project, a person Levi knew very well.

Half an hour has passed and Levi sits on his bed looking at this thing. He hears footsteps run into the apartment and within a second the bedroom door is flung open. "Levi!" He says with a panicked look on his face.

"Oh my where have you been Erwin?" Levi asks with a flat voice.

"Levi no! Please don't misunderstand this!" He begs

"Is that so?" Levi adds "what excuse do you have for this? Huh?"

"I'm not making excuses" he stresses and Levi is unfazed by his attempt to save himself from this.

"I don't want to hear your excuse Erwin" Levi sighs "your amazing excuse to explain why that doll looks like that, why it looks the exact same as me."

"You're an amazing craftsman Erwin the more I look the more resemblances I find between the two of us" Levi explains leaning forward for a closer look before snapping his eyes up to look at Erwin "it's fucking sickening!"

"Levi..." he adds covering his face with his hands. Levi can see how ashamed he is.

"Have you been making this since we met? Since when? Even before we met? It's disgusting! I won't be coming back, I never thought you were ever capable of doing something like this."

"You're mistaken, it's a misunderstanding! Please don't hate me!" He adds moving a hand down to cup his face and Levi grits his teeth.

"Don't touch me! It's revolting!" He spits "get off me!" Levi begins to stand up to leave when's he's pushed down by the blonde.

"Stop!" Erwin shouts in a panic and Levi is down on the bed looking at him surprised, terrified, like a deer in the headlights "Levi! Don't you have the same dream!? Your face, your eyes, your name; Everything is the same but why!? Are you playing dumb with me? What you said, what does it mean!? What does 'The Cycle must continue mean'!?"

"Get the hell off me or I will punch you!" Levi adds and within a second Erwin reaches down and kisses him. He pulls back and looks down at Levi sadly.

"I've seen it every night since I was a child Levi" he adds "you in different scenarios, I've seen you in the same few. We were friends in school in one of them, one where you were my master and one where you were a beautiful dance to name a few. In these dreams I loved you and when I woke up alone I was in despair. It seemed like you didn't exist until I found you but years and years before we met I said to myself I wanted to make you. I was stuck everyday with dreams of you that I used to make this doll, every single day, it was like a curse and a blessing at the same time. It was so painful but I'm sorry hurting you almost, when I saw you moved in I had to talk to you and I knew you would be the type to help someone but my acting would of been terrible so when I saw you heading out with an inhaler what dropped onto the floor on your way out I took my chance and gave a lit cigarette to some teen paying him to blow it in your face so I could save you. I put the inhaler back in your pocket in secret when you came inside my home."

Levi looks up at him and sees tears form in his eyes as he covers his eyes with the back of his hand. "I wanted a chance to get close to you" he cries "even if it was just for a second."

"You are the worst" Levi adds frowning.

"Levi I'm sorry" he adds

"I don't understand what you are saying Erwin" he adds "though I do understand one thing, you are SICK" Levi makes sure to raise his voice at the end to put his point across. He pushes Erwin off him and stands up walking to the door "enjoy your dreams and fucking that thing" Levi slams the door on the way out.

Levi hadn't visited Erwin since that day. Levi knew that the words that Erwin spoke of weren't nonsense but stopped himself from saying anything. Levi secretly, ever so secretly knew what he was on about but this wasn't the time or the place in fact to settle the details. There would be another time that would come where he can they can talk about this thing. This wasn't the time.

Levi wondered if he's still living in that house trying to make the perfect version of Levi. Levi knew that was impossible as he was far from perfect and the way that the world treated him proved that. Was he still clinging to his obsession?

Curiosity lead him back to Erwin's home next door and the fact he still hadn't returned the book to him. Levi knocks and the door is opened within half a second. Erwin opens the door hastily, a deranged look on his face. They just look at each other before Erwin pulls him into a hug he didn't ask for. Levi takes his hands off him. "I thought you were never coming back Levi" he adds "because I scared the life out of you"

"I'm only here to return the book" Levi adds.

"If there's anything else you need or want to read don't be afraid to take it off m-" he says but is caught off by Levi.

"How's the doll?" Levi questions and Erwin looks surprised he's asks about it "are you still making it? Is it finished?"

"It was finished when you saw it Levi" he explains walking over and opening the bedroom door, Levi walks into that room closing the front door behind him making sure to slip the book back in the bookcase before entering Erwin's room "though I've put all my effort into making him, for his sake I take my time with everything I've done to make him, I've enjoyed this more than anything else in the word." Levi walks in to see that the doll is facing him in the wooden chair. "Thanks to you Levi I was able to make this complete this amazing being." Levi watches him gently cup it's cheeks. He was surprised as he thought he would be treating to rougher, more violently since its the image of someone he'd always wanted. He feels like he's standing in front a living person. Erwin lingers looking at the doll touching him lightly on the face. "I have to be so gentle with him"

Something within Levi had him walking over to the both of them. "Hey Erwin" Levi says gently "do you want to try have sex with me? I'll let you do whatever you want to me, let's do what dolls can't do"

Erwin slowly turns around to face him with a blush on his face. He nods without saying a word and Levi takes his hands almost pushing him down on the bed before climbing on top of him. "Levi!?" He gasps and Levi can tell he's breathing heavy with nerves, so is himself. He unbuttoned his shirt watching as Erwin tries to avoid eye contact. "Come on look closely" Erwin sees the binder on his chest and looks at him puzzled. Levi takes Erwin's hands and puts them onto his clothed chest. "Touch me, see how I won't break or be hurt if you're a little rough. Take it off me." Erwin just looks at him still red faced and Levi takes Erwin's hands once again and slides them under the fabric, Levi sighs at the feeling as he watches Erwin freeze up. "Can you feel my skin, my flesh? This is what a human is understand? Not one of them dolls you spent your childhood having sex with." Levi takes his binder off and exposes his chest seeing Erwin eye it up.

Levi is flipped onto the bed by him and smirks up at him wrapping his arms around his neck. "That's right Erwin" he purrs "good boy"

Erwin's figertips touch Levi's chest gently looking down at them curious. "I must apologise Levi" he adds "it's seems I've made some mistakes on the doll. Your chest and...other things I've gotten wrong. Though the colour of your blushing cheeks and eyes are more vivid than in the dreams, they're beautiful, you're absolutely beautiful Levi, please let me see more." Levi widens his eyes a little at his statement.

Levi ends up on his stomach as Erwin traces his hands over his back as Levi sort of pants from how much he's making his skin jump. "Here and here too" he explains "it's wonderful"

"Erwin no more" he sighs "enough already, just put it in, I...don't like the way you're talking, you're embarrassing me"

"Show me" Erwin adds and Levi is on his back, he moves Levi's legs apart and pulls down his underwear tossing it to the side exposing him. "So this is the colour of your private area"

Levi moves his hands over himself within a second. "Erwin enough with the comments!" He adds "don't look at it"

"Why?" He asks "you're so beautiful Levi, I want to see everything about you, if it's about your body being this like I don't care, what anyone says about you and your body that upsets you ignore them. You are so god damn perfect Levi and you can't even see it, I want to worship every single mark on that body of yours. I'm going to kiss every single scar you've put in yourself because of them better until they dissappear. You hear me, I love every part of you, more than anything else I seen in my life"

Levi glances at the doll at the end of the bed and takes pride that he's able to do something with Erwin that it can't do. He looks back at Erwin with tears in his eyes knowing that he isn't lying to him, knowing that he's done better than the thing Erwin has spent his whole life planning and creating. A single tear flows down his face as he pulls Erwin down to kiss him. Though Levi wanted to show him that he could be rough with him, that he wouldn't break like that doll lookalike of him, Erwin was gentle.

Afterwards they lay in silence until Erwin sits up and walks over to the doll. Levi watches as he checks it's face and leaves him alone in the bed after they had just slept together, Levi had given himself up to him, he lost it to Erwin and now he leaves him there as he softly places a kiss to the doll's head. Levi hears something that strikes a nerve within himself though it was barely audible, just below a whisper, like he wasn't supposed to hear it come from Erwin's mouth. "I'm sorry you had to see that" is what Levi is sure he said. Erwin says he's going to make tea and Levi just nods.

When Erwin leaves he gets up off the bed and walks around to the doll. He stares at it silently thinking to himself and feels a jealous spike erupt from himself. He wasn't going to be a loved more than this fake version of himself. His hands reach down and pick the body up from the chair walking over and opening the window. He's just about to destroy this thing when he hears something close to a screech in the doorway. He turns around to see Erwin. "LEVI WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" He screeches in a panic and rushes over to them "GET OFF HIM!"

"He has to go Erwin!" Levi shouts "you've got me, you've got what you want, you don't need this thing!"

"I do!" He adds back trying to get the doll back off Levi "Put him down! You're going to hurt him!"

"But you don't mind hurting me Erwin!?" Levi shouts "you sleep with me, take my first time and tell me I'm the most important thing in your life then you proceed to leave me in bed whilst you apologise to that thing! I can't believe you!"

"I didn't mean it" he says "he looked hurt"

"THAT DOLL ISN'T FUCKING REAL ERWIN!" he screams at him "That doll can't sleep with you! That doll can't kiss you back! That doll can't show or feel emotions! IT IS LIFELESS!"

Levi in an instant lets go of the doll next to the window and Erwin rushes to catch it pushing Levi aggressively by accident in the direction of the chair. He is sent flying over it whilst Erwin's hands just miss the doll. There is a mighty crack and Erwin sees that the head of the doll has been smashes into pieces. He falls to his knees looking at the mess eyes filling up with tears. "L-LEVI LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" he sobs holding a piece of the dolls head in his hands "YOU'VE BROKE HIM! YOU'VE FUCKING BROKE HIM!" There is silence. "AT LEAST SAY SOMETHING! YOU'VE BROKE MY LIFE'S WORK!" Still nothing. Erwin turns around gritting his teeth "LEVI!" He then realises that Levi isn't behind him and  sits for half a second scanning the room from the spot he's at.

That's when because of the light coming through the open door he sees a something on the other side of the chair. "Levi?" He questions and hears nothing in return "......Levi? Levi is that you? Can you hear me?" Nothing is said and Erwin is about to think that he went back next door in a rage fit when the light shows the start of a red puddle forming on the floor. Erwin widens his eyes and walks over to this puddle to see Levi laying on the floor. "Levi? Are you hurt?" Nothing. He places his head to his chest for a moment and after a second retracts it his whole body starting to shake. He moves his hand to see it covered in blood and sees it's coming from his head. Erwin moves his hair out the way to see an opening in his head and immediately picks him up in his arms and runs into the Living room placing Levi down on his work bench. He gets to work.

Many many hours later his bedroom is set up with his collection looking towards the bed in the dark. A long awaited ceremony they are all watching, one that was promised years ago by a young Erwin. Erwin grits his teeth as he slams into his doll gripping a hold of the headboard as he does so, he's being so rough with it. He does this to the doll repeatedly soon reaching his end. When he does reach it afterwards he pulls out and takes the doll into his arms placing it onto the chair gently making its in a comfortable position.

He he sits on the floor in front of it, his whole collection looking at them. He hugs his legs close to his body feeling the tears start to pour from him as his body shook. "My friends...I-I was too rough with him....I'VE BROKEN HIM!" He sobs and then looks up at the doll, at the mess he's made. "I COULDN'T FIX HIM!"

A body sat on the chair, an empty shell. Levi was on display, he was finally perfect, finally beautiful. He was now the Doll.


End file.
